


the state of things

by melchimaus



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 19:03:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11766351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melchimaus/pseuds/melchimaus
Summary: "That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt." - The Fault in Our Stars, John GreenKatniss is tired of being unable to sleep.





	the state of things

74, 75, 76…

The sharp siren pierced the night, and Katniss’ head shot up from Peeta’s chest. She listened intently as the vehicle turned onto the block of her apartment, a horn blaring as it sped through the streets, the sound finally fading as it continued its journey. She briefly wondered what had happened, before shaking her head slightly, and laying back down. Peeta’s heart beat steadily beneath her ear, but she had lost count, and didn’t feel like starting over. She glanced at the bedside table – 2:16 – and huffed. 

This was the third night in a row that she couldn’t sleep. The first night she had attributed to a fluke. The second had left her noticeably grumpier in the morning. Finnick, her co-worker, had raised his eyebrow at her as she settled into her desk. He slowly lowered his coffee cup from his lips and slid it toward her. Katniss had glared at him over her own cup, and he retreated, holding his hands up in deference.

(She saw him smirking when Peeta dropped by during lunch, a large mocha in hand with her name scrawled on the cup, along with a heart. Katniss sighed her thanks into his chest, and stuck her tongue out at Finn, causing him to raise an eyebrow again.

“Don’t work too hard, okay?” Peeta whispered, and she tilted her head up to meet his kiss.

“You, too,” she murmured as they broke apart. He smiled, giving her a quick peck on her forehead before heading back to the bookstore.)

“You sure that’s a good idea?” Finnick asked as she sprawled back into her chair, taking a large gulp of her drink and savouring the whipped cream. “I know you’re tired, but the extra expresso is probably just gonna keep you up later.” She scowled at him.

“When do we leave for the gallery?” she asked instead.

“Monday, maybe,” Finnick replied. Katniss turned to him, confused, but he had taken a large bite of his sandwich. She glared at him impatiently. “The _artiste_ got food poisoning, so we’re heading to the benefactor’s office instead.” He adopted a grandiose tone. “Plutarch Heavensbee, vice president of Snow Property Management.” He smirked again. “He’s pretty excited to meet you, actually. Loved your work on those endangered bumblebees.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t suppose he actually donated to the cause,” she muttered, but Finnick heard her, and chuckled. “Why do I have to go anyway? What’s there to see?”

“Well, we need to get a headshot for the profile – and no, we can’t just use a press photo,” Finnick cut her off before she could speak. “Effie wants ‘the real thing’. And who knows,” he continued, throwing a scrunched-up napkin at her. She flung it back at his face, but he caught it. “He might have some cool bric-a-brac lying around.”

Katniss highly doubted this, but didn’t feel like arguing with their editor. Thankfully, Finnick was able to keep Heavensbee occupied during the interview, encouraging him to ramble about his interest in genetic modification and how Portia Vargas’ work was surely representative of the future of the human race. Katniss had found the whole thing a little morbid, and tuned him out, taking a few quick shots of him as he gesticulated. There was little else in the room that drew her interest, and she was glad when Finnick stood up and shook Heavensbee’s hand, signalling the end of the meeting.

“It was a pleasure to meet you both,” said Heavensbee, turning to look at her even as he clasped Finnick’s hand. She nodded in acknowledgement, then darted out of the room before he could say anything more. She heard laughter from inside, probably due to Finnick making a joke at her expense, and briefly considered leaving without him, when he came out, slinging an arm around her shoulders.

“Well, that wasn’t so bad,” he said cheerfully. She grunted, making him laugh. “C’mon Katniss, I got my soundbites, you got your – well, Effie’s photos. And he didn’t even try to kiss your cheek!” He gave her a shake, then pulled her tighter against side. “Instead, we now get to go home and kiss our beautiful other halves.” He sighed loudly, and his grin became impossibly wider.

Katniss’ mouth twitched, but she didn’t say anything. Peeta wouldn’t be home this early, and she debated whether she should get an early start on dinner. She tried to picture the contents of their fridge, but she was finding it difficult to focus. Shuffling into the elevator, her thoughts drifted off towards their living room instead, imagining the two of them snuggled together on the couch, eating takeout. Peeta would always try to steal some of her food; she would scowl at him, and he would pout in apology, but his eyes would betray his smugness. If she was feeling playful, she’d crawl on top of him, pushing him down, and seating herself comfortably on his chest while he laughed at her antics. He’d quickly, but gently, push her off again, or sometimes, he’d let her be, awkwardly trying to eat in this new position without dropping anything. Eventually, she’d relent, and crawl back to the other side of the couch, only to be pulled back against him once he sat up. 

She was smiling fully now, and barely even noticed when they stopped walking. Finnick tugged at her braid, and she jumped. He gestured with a flourish toward her car. “Milady.” She tried to force her face back into a scowl, but couldn’t quite manage, prompting him to lean down to kiss her forehead. “Keep your wits about you,” he whispered, smirking. She tried to punch his shoulder, but he only grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. He turned toward his own car, chuckling as he went.

Katniss huffed, and slumped back against her car. She must have been really tired to zone out like that. She had never been one for romantic daydreaming. She loved Peeta, and he loved her; what more was there to dwell on? Turning and sliding into the driver’s seat, she made a mental list of restaurants she might pass on the way home. Maybe she could stop by the liquor store…    

*

In the end, the wine seemed to do more for Peeta than it did for her. He didn’t stir as she slipped out of his embrace, dragging the sheets partially off him as she got out of bed. She straightened the bedding, but left his chest uncovered, watching as it rose and fell with his breathing. The nights were getting warmer now, and he would probably end up kicking them off anyway. She ran her fingers briefly through his hair, not wanting to wake him, but he turned toward her, his slips smacking a little. She was suddenly aware of her own heartbeat thudding in her chest, and turned to head toward the kitchen.

Opening an overhead cabinet, she surveyed the variety of teas. Prim had recommended chamomile to help her sleep, but that hadn’t helped the first night, so she plucked out a mint teabag instead, reasoning that it wouldn’t do any more damage. She dropped it in her mug, then filled the kettle with water. As it heated up, she picked up her phone to check for messages from her sister.

As much as she would have loved to talk with Prim every night, her irregular hours at the magazine, as well as her freelance work, and the demanding curriculum Prim was following at university meant that even weekly chats were rare. Instead, the two often texted each other throughout their days, despite knowing that they probably wouldn’t receive a response from the other for at least an hour. Katniss thought that this would allow her to keep updated with Prim’s life without having to divulge much about her own, but her sister was adamant that she respond in kind. She never quite matched Prim’s enthusiasm for sharing every tidbit of her life, but even so, she found herself smiling as she recounted even the most mundane activities. She was sure Peeta could contribute some more interesting stories from his job, but Prim had quickly shot the idea down; this was just for the two of them.

_[Prim]: did you know rory was planning to visit today?_

Katniss rolled her eyes. Prim’s high school sweetheart had had no reservations about her going to school out of state, calmly stating that he trusted her and that their relationship would be fine. Neither of their families realized that this was because he planned to drive out to see her every other weekend.

_[Prim]: tell him to focus on his own studies!! it’s almost finals!!!!_

_[Prim]:and before you ask, i’m doing not studying too hard_

_[Prim:] and i’m not partying too hard either_

_[Prim]: anyway i tried telling him myself but he wouldn’t listen :(_

Katniss didn’t think there was a force on Earth that could stop Rory from trailing after Prim like a lovesick puppy

_[Katniss]: he just loves you <3 <3 <3_

_[Katniss]: you’re allowed to have some fun_

_[Katniss]: but i’ll give him a good kick in the ass when he gets back_

_[Katniss]: anyway, the guy we saw today was super weird. how can having green skin be an improvement???_

The kettle shrieked, and the phone slipped from Katniss’ hand, clattering off the counter and onto the floor.

“Shit!”

She hopped off the stool and grabbed the kettle off the stove, fanning it frantically with her hands in a futile attempt to stop the whistling. She poured the hot water into her mug, then waited, cocking her head toward the bedroom.

“Katniss?”

She sighed. Turning back to the cupboard, she pulled out Peeta’s mug and an orange and cinnamon teabag. Peeta appeared in the doorway, yawning and scratching his neck. He padded over to her, and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek. Katniss melted into him, nuzzling into his neck. He let go to sit on the stool beside her, but kept one of her hands in his, rubbing his thumb against the back.

“Still can’t sleep?”

She slumped back onto her stool, propping her head up with her other hand. “No. Finnick said it was your fault for bringing me extra caffeine today.”

“Huh.” He looked at her thoughtfully. “Guess I should stop doing that, then.”

She kicked his stool, earning her a pout. “Shut up,” she grumbled. She raised her head so she could wave her hand over her steeping tea, cutting through the steam. “I just don’t know what else could it be. I haven’t eaten anything different, and I’m not sick. Everything’s going well at work; Prim’s happy. And when I _do_ fall asleep, I don’t even _dream_ anything that could bother me!” Her voice had risen, and Peeta hushed her, taking her other hand and resting them in his lap. “I’m sorry,” she muttered. “I know you’re tired of hearing it.”

“Never,” he replied, bringing her hands up to kiss. He smirked. “Maybe a good rant will tire you out.”

She pulled her hands away and glared at him, but it lacked heat. She picked up her mug and sipped at her tea. Peeta did the same. It was a comfortable silence. Katniss knew she should feel guilty about keeping him up, but she knew if the situation were reversed, she’d be mad at him for not letting her help. Nevertheless, she hated the slight pinch in his brow that betrayed his concern. He noticed her frowning at him, and immediately flashed her a bright smile, nudging his foot up her calf.

“Am _I_ the problem?” he teased, and this time, Katniss really did glare at him.

“ _No_ ,” she said vehemently. “You’re perfect.” She turned in her stool so her whole body was facing him, then hopped off to stand between his legs. She smoothed her thumb over his brow, still scowling, her other hand resting on his shoulder.

Peeta put down his own cup and clasped her wrist. He pulled it toward his mouth, placing another kiss on her palm. “Don’t change the subject.”

“I’m not,” she argued. “You aren’t the problem.”

His gave her a small smile and pulled her down to press a sweet kiss onto her lips. “Good to know,” he said lightly. He nudged her hip, guiding her out from between his legs, and pulled her down into his lap. She wrapped an arm around his shoulder, her hand automatically reaching for his head, and tucking his hair behind his ear. He nuzzled her neck, and she could feel his smile against her skin.

“Today’s Saturday,” he murmured, and Katniss shivered at the feel of his breath. She closed her eyes, letting the feel of him envelop her: the fresh smell of his shampoo, the sturdiness of his chest and legs, his fingertips trailing up and down her arm. “We can spend the entire day in bed looking up cures for insomnia, and ordering all of it: foods that make you sleepy, a white noise machine, new pillows, a mattress --”

“I like our mattress,” she broke in. “It’s not even that old.” She pulled her head back and smirked. “And it has good memories.” She wriggled in his lap.

His smile widened, but his tone was reproachful. “Katniss…”

“It’s just a suggestion,” she huffed, and leaned over to grab her mug. The shift in balance almost had her falling out of his embrace, but he moved with her, one foot coming to the floor while his hands kept a firm grip on her waist. She stood up anyway, one arm dropping down to hold his as she drank. She tilted her head back, letting the last dregs of tea slide past her lips, before setting the cup firmly on the counter. She turned back to him, giving him a pointed look, tugging on his hand for good measure.

Peeta snorted. “Just a suggestion,” he repeated. He let go of her hand to grab both of their mugs, disposing of the tea bags, and placing the cups in the sink. She mimicked his actions from before coming up behind him to wrap her arms around his torso, and rubbed her cheek against his back. She shifted on her feet, rocking them side to side as he worked.

There was a clink as the mugs were set on the drying rack. “Done?” she said into his back.

Peeta just chuckled, and placed his hands over hers, then turned toward the bedroom. Katniss released her hold on his waist and tucked herself into his side. When they got to their bed, he sat down while she kneeled on the floor to help him remove his prosthetic leg, and stood it next to the bedside table. He swung his legs up to recline onto the mattress, but she climbed over him, interrupting his movements as she settled down on the other side. They turned to face each other, and she shuffled closer until their noses were almost touching. He reached a hand out to cup her jaw, and she sighed, letting her eyes fall closed.

 “You make me so happy,” he whispered, and before she could respond, his lips were on hers. It was a slow kiss, almost lazy as he sucked on her top lip before sliding his tongue into her mouth. The hand on her face was simultaneously firm and gentle, holding her in place as breathed her in. It wasn’t what Katniss had planned, but it wasn’t completely unexpected. Peeta was always the nice one in the relationship, and while he was more than capable of making her scream herself hoarse with pleasure, it was three in the morning; this was a softer Peeta, one whose edges were dulled by fatigue, allowing his kindness to emanate through his entire body into hers. As the thought entered her mind, she reached out instinctually to squeeze his arm, using it as leverage to bring their bodies close together, letting their legs tangle under the covers. His hand drifted down to her back, then under her t-shirt to caress her skin.

She broke the kiss, rounding her back, urging him to use more pressure. He splayed his palm, and rolled over so she was on top of him. Katniss moaned into his neck as she felt his fingers press along the ridges of her spine. She hadn’t even realized how much tension she was holding until the knots released under Peeta’s ministrations. She lay still, letting him work. She felt herself rise and fall a little with Peeta’s breathing, his inhales coinciding with her exhales. She placed one hand over his heart, wondering if hers was beating the same rhythm. She titled her head up to whisper in his ear. “You make me happy, too.”

Peeta just hummed, his hands now level with her waist. She nipped his jaw, then soothed the sting with her tongue. Despite her earlier tone, there was nothing sexual about what they were doing. There was no hunger, no insistent tugging in her belly for more. Instead, she felt full, content simply lying together. She knew she was lucky; not only had she carved out a wonderful life for herself, but she had found the perfect person to share it with. She hadn’t had to create a space for him, and neither had he; they had simply melted into each other, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Peeta’s breathing was starting to slow, his inhales beginning to deepen, his exhales lengthening. His hands had stopped their wanderings, only the tips of his fingers occasionally giving her a light scratch. Katniss closed her eyes, letting a shiver run through her as she rested her head on his shoulder. She sighed.

Then froze, her entire body going rigid.

_Wait._

She felt Peeta tense beneath her, could sense his eyes opening. “Katniss --?”

_That can’t be it. That doesn’t even make sense!_

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Katniss?”

His hand came up to cover the side of her head, jerking her from her thoughts. She blinked, then pushed up onto her hands, hovering above him. His hand followed the movement, cupping her cheek. She watched as his eyes roved around her face, showing no sign that he had been close to sleep only seconds before.

“Peeta –” She crashed her lips onto his, eliciting a grunt of surprise, but he kissed her back fervently. She tried to wrap her thighs around his hips, pressing her body as closely and firmly to his as possible. He rolled them over instead, so they were side by side again, before breaking away, breathing heavily.

“What just happened?” he panted, pushing her hair away from her face. Katniss stared at his mouth, running her thumb along his spit-slickened lips. He pulled her hand away, and she raised her eyes until they met his. Even in the dim light, she could tell how wide they were, still scrutinizing every twitch of her eyes, the flaring of her nostrils. She rolled onto her back, flinging an arm across her face, hiding from him. She felt him shuffle closer, putting one arm over her belly, but didn’t say anything. Her other hand immediately moved to rest over his.

“I –” she sighed. She was pressing so hard against her eyes that she was starting to see stars. She turned her head to face Peeta again, biting her lip. “I’m happy.”

His face softened before scrunching up in confusion. “So you’ve said.” She wished he would stop staring at her like that. She could imagine the deep flush of her cheeks as her gaze darted between his face and over his shoulder at the window. The intensity of his concern made her uncomfortable, but she needed to make him understand; if only she could find the words. 

“I’m happy,” she repeated, louder this time, but her voice still wavered. She met his eyes again. “Life is good. Really good.”

“It’s good for me, too,” he assured her.

“I know.” She swallowed. “This stuff is just… so easy for you,” she explained to the ceiling.

Peeta was silent. He tilted his head until his forehead met her temple. His breath tickled her ear. She shrugged her shoulder to dislodge him, but he didn’t budge. He grazed her cheek with his nose, and she let her shoulder drop. She wasn’t certain she had made her point, but she didn’t know what else to say.

Sleep was lurking at the edges of her mind. She vaguely recalled that Peeta had made plans for tomorrow, but the details escaped her. She’d be with him though; of that she was certain. The exhales that had annoyed her became a reminder that she wasn’t alone, hadn’t been for a while. She listened to the wind rustling outside the building, the occasional rumble of a car passing by many stories below. She’d never thought about leaving her hometown. Everything she needed was here.

“Katniss.”

Her name was a whisper, like the feeling of his eyelashes against her cheek. She hummed, leaning into him.

“Katniss,” he said again, and she could hear the smile in his voice. He squeezed her to him, bringing them impossibly closer, and let out an amused huff. “You’re happy,” he said, and she hummed again. This time, she felt his chest shake as and she realized he was laughing silently. She didn’t move, suddenly unsure of herself. Peeta seemed to sense her unease. “Only you,” he murmured, nuzzling her cheek again. “Only you would be unable to sleep because your life is _too_ wonderful.”

She felt her mouth twitch into a smile and wrenched her eyes open. His own eyes were sparkling, and she couldn’t help but give him a silly pout. Peeta didn’t hesitate to kiss it away, though not without a loud smack.

“It’s not funny,” she said, but she was smiling. She turned away, curling up like a child. To anyone else, she may have looked offended, but Peeta knew it was an invitation to wrap his own body around hers; it was her favourite position to sleep in.

“No,” he agreed, trying to straighten the sheets with one arm. Katniss moaned as he pulled them out from under her, and he could imagine her smile being replaced with a scowl. He draped the duvet around their waists, before letting his hand cover hers on her pillow. She shifted back a little until her back was flush against his chest, and sighed.

“I’m happy you’re happy,” he added quietly, but she was already asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! i'm sandyeyes on tumblr if you wanna chat :)


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